Zoom dating. Those words together may make you flinch on the inside. It may not excite you. And I get it. I really do.

          I am here to tell you, though, it is not as bad as you think. Sure, some Zoom dates are awkward, but so are some in-person dates. It may feel unnatural at first, as new things tend to feel, but as time goes on, it will become less strange and unfamiliar. You just have to be patient with yourself and the other person as you find your groove. Don’t be afraid of the awkwardness, just think of it as inevitable. Prepare yourself mentally, and who knows, you may be presently surprised.

           I really recommend Zoom dates if you and the other party are from two different states. My Shadchan suggests it as well. Why should you have to fly in for someone who it may very clearly not work out with? Ask for a Zoom date, and you can even request another if the first goes well. There is so much you can learn about someone from a Zoom date. I believe its better than a phone call since you can see the other person’s expressions and feel some of the energy they give off.

           One of the reasons Zoom dates are harder is because there are no distractions.  I recommend either having access to a list of questions if you have trouble thinking of them on your own, or maybe you have a project you are working on that you can share. Maybe you can both look up a piece of art and discuss it.

                 An additional suggestion, compliments of my friend, is to pull up a shiur on your device and play it whenever there is too long a lapse in conversion. It gives you something to do in the moment and will also hopefully help spur on a discussion. You can pause and play the shiur as often as you deem fit, with the goal of it giving you something to talk about or think aloud about.

               Don’t be afraid to think creatively.

           Zoom dates are definitely a good option and one shouldn’t be afraid to request one. It is a totally acceptable choice; especially given the interesting times we live in. So why not use and explore this tool?

           Wishing you much luck and strength!