Tonight is the Bar Mitzvah of a family friend, the Shmulevitz’s. I’ve known them for as log as I can remember and I’m looking forward to seeing them.

I apply my makeup in my slightly foggy mirror. I twist my face from side to side. Sparkly eyeshadow, check. Pink lip-gloss, check. I look fine, I tell myself, fine is good. Who am I trying to impress anyway?

I come downstairs and see my mother closing up her silver bag. She smiles at me. “You ready?”

I nod my head, my curls bouncing as I do.

***

I enter the shul, and everything looks amazing. My eyes scour, looking for Mindy Shmulevitz so I can wish her Mazel Tov. I didn’t see her since before I left to Seminary, and I’m excited to catch up with her. Hopefully she isn’t too busy.

Finally, I spot her blonde head of hair and I make my way over to her. Up close I’m in shock over the layers and layers of makeup she has on.  I don’t remember her being that fond of dolling herself up.

“Mazel tov!” I tell her, embracing her.

“Thank you! It's nice to see you!”

“You too! How’s everything?”

We exchange pleasantries and Seminary stories, and it was like no time passed at all, until she asked me something totally unexpected, “so did you start dating yet?”

“Dating?” I echo like a parrot.

“Yeah! I did. It’s been an adventure already!”

“But we just got back like 3 months ago,” I say.

“Exactly! We hit the market as soon as we touch down on American soil” she informs me as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

After that, she’s pulled away by well-wishers, who seem to twirl about her in multicolored outfits. I stand there, dizzy and shocked.

                                                                          My Advice:

The only timeline you need to be on is your own. If you’re ready straightaway, go for it! If you need weeks, months, even a year or so, that is totally fine. The whole process really is about you. What you’re trying to find, what values are important to you, if you’re ready for someone new and important in your life. People think it’s best to start as early as possible, and maybe there’s something to it, but you need to be an open vessel. You must be ready for the journey that dating really is. You need to understand yourself before you can open up to another and receive.