Gut feeling

I know I've spoken about the concept of gut feeling in the post named “listen to your inner voice”, but I would like to expand upon this idea, for it is worth giving you something more to think about.

If you're having a blockage with the person you're dating, don't just write it off since you can't pinpoint the exact cause. (Obviously, if you can label specific actions or behaviors that are bothering you and causing some sort of block, it's another story).

Instead, what you should do is turn inwards. What is making me feel this way? In what moments do I feel distant from the person I'm dating? When did this shift occur? When did I start noticing these feelings?

You should make an effort to check in with yourself while you're out, for it will help you keep focused and notice what's going on. Then, when you look back upon that time, you will have something to contemplate.

Pay very close attention to changes in feelings or mood when communicating with the person or about the person you are dating.

It’s important to remember you owe it to yourself to look out for your own best interests and those of your future. You have to be your own best detective. This matter is agreeably something worth investigating.

After talking to others, and through learning for myself as well, it is undoubtedly recommended to journal about the dates and/or talk it out with someone you trust. That could help you get places, for the more you discuss it and think it through, the more likely you are to understand your own inner complex. Besides, part of the dating journey is to get to know yourself, so think of it as part of the process. 

And even if you don't figure out precisely what is causing the said blockage, yet you're trying to work it out, and something is still feeling off, then listen to that, for that too speaks volumes. Not everything said is in the form of words, sometimes its in the silence that you can discover.

If you're putting your best foot forward and you still feel distant from the person you’re seeing, you still feel like something is holding you back, then really, why continue? Why try to make something work that you can prove isn't working? If you aren’t progressing, you will naturally come to regress, since life isn’t static.

There comes a point in time when you need to trust yourself, trust in Hashem, and just let go so you can make space for something better.

Think about it this way: a stream of water may try to get around or over a rock in its path, and it may keep rushing towards it, but sometimes all we can do to help restore the flow is to remove that rock.