A significant thing to have in life is boundaries. It shows that you respect others and yourself by getting to know and abiding by a person's boundaries or setting boundaries and sticking to them. In Yiddishkeit (Judaism), we have boundaries put in place by rabbanim (rabbis) that we are expected to follow, like containing oneself from touching a light switch on Shabbos. Boundaries are vital in a general sense and in the spheres of relationships, work, and Judaism. This includes the realm of shidduchim (dating) as well.

I had the experience of dating a boy who would text me until 2 AM even after wishing him good night multiple times. On one occasion, he even wrote he expected me to respond before going to sleep. Despite trying to set boundaries and seemingly being on the same page, he was yet to follow through on keeping to the limits I attempted to establish.

A similar occurrence happened with someone I was speaking to who said the boy she dated would call her at 3 AM and expect her to answer the call just because he couldn't sleep. It didn't matter how tired she would be or how often she said she needed to be up early the following day; he was insistent on keeping her up for his benefit and accompaniment.

Not always are things so apparent, however. Someone may not be respecting your boundaries in less noticeable ways. I ask you for the sake of you to be cognizant of whether or not the person you are dating is sticking to your boundaries. People can be well-meaning, like in my case, but they can nonetheless overstep the demarcated line. You can say to your date that you rather they did not come over to your house or that you want them to call you twice a week and not five times a week. It can be a conversation as long as you feel respected and that your opinions, needs, and preferences are considered.

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